~portum Arcanum

"I am one of your kind, that part is right, but the rest is not true. I would like to know who your client it and correct his misinformation about me"

“I wish I knew who they were myself, but sadly, I don’t know that. And I have no intention of taking you back, quite the opposite. See, the kingdom is hiding something, and I’m after it. My client has offered to help me in finding it, and I think you could probably help me find it. I learned about this back when I was a guard for the family. There is a document in this town that has a map to a hidden room in the kingdom, and there is an item in that room that I’m after. You know this town rather well, so I think you should be able to help me find it.” Kiriton said

“The other thing I’m curious about is why exactly you left. You don’t have to tell me, but it seems that quite a few of us have decided to come to land. And from what you told me, there are people out there who are hunting us, which could complicate things. I myself came to this place so that I could try to escape from the sea for a while, but apparently it is not as easy as I had hoped.”

 

Tristan walked to the nearest street pole and leaned against it
"Those two people are still in that warehouse."
Tristan starts to chuckle
"They must be having lots of fun."
Tristan sighs, he looks at the ground and sighs one more time. He jerks up to the noise of a coin hitting the ground. The coin bounces out of the shadows and onto the ground. Tristan stares at it as it rolls to him, he looks up and tries to see who's in the shadows.
"I know your there, so you wanna come out?"
A lady with comes out of the shadows. She's wearing a black veil over her face, she wears a black dress on her and has black leather gloves. Her eyes dark brown and her hair black with swirls at the end
"Hello."
"Hello Tristan."
Tristan stops leaning on the pole and stands up straight
"How do you know my name?"
The lady smiles
"I know everyones name."
"You do huh?"
'Next she's going to say she knows everything.'
"In fact I know everything."
'Holy crap, she did say it.'
"So, what do you want?"
"Do you believe in legends Tristan?"
"No, not really."
The lady chuckles
"Well maybe, you should start believing them."
"It will make the world around you, a bit more colourful."

 

When he came back round, he was still trying desperately to convince himself that he was having some ludicrous nightmare.
The sight of the man holding a glass of water over his leg again, and the fact the puddle was still there, finally hammered the truth home.
"Merpeople exist," he said numbly. The man nodded assent.
"Are you going to kill me?"
"Because you know of our existence? Who would believe you? Who would even LISTEN to you before immediately arresting you for the crime you didn't commit?"
Actaeon bit back a snarl. "So... now what? I go back to being Tarzan and you go off to Seaworld and cover your nipples with starfish?"
The man looked confused. "Pardon?"
"Little Mermaid reference."
"We do not always behave like that."
"Not...always."
The man blushed. "Well, sometimes when we get a little too drunk -"
"Not. Always."
The man glared. "Do you want to get your painkillers removed?"
Actaeon shut up.

A few minutes later he spoke again. "How do you guys breed? Does one of the scales just open up like a hatch and your little eel comes out, and then she takes your little eel, her scales open up and she puts it in her little whirlpool until it -"
He broke off as a horrifying thought struck him.
"Oh dear lord... ARE CHILDREN SWIMMING IN MERPEOPLE SEMEN!? OH HEAVENS ABOVE THAT'S JUST DISGUSTING!"
"You're being dramatic."
"AND YOUR POOP!? DOES IT JUST FLOAT AROUND INNOCENTLY BEING MISTAKEN FOR FISH BY DIVERS? I AM NEVER GOING NEAR THE SEA AGAIN!"
"I think you're taking this rather well."
"I've just learned that EVERY SINGLE TIME I've stepped in the sea, I've been paddling around in, splashing people with, and occasionally swallowing -" he shuddered, "your...effluence."

The man shrugged. "Why do you think the seas are salty? It's our oceans, we can breed however much we like. Also we don't have excretions like humans do. Your people call it seaweed."
Actaeon threw up.
"Now that's disgusting," the man said, revolted.
"The seas are salty because of merman semen... and seaweed is MERPEOPLE SHIT!?!?!" Actaeon screeched. "AND WE'RE DISGUSTING!?!?"
"Do you know," the man said seriously, "how much pollution you put in our oceans? We were perfectly happy under the sea before you monkeys learned how to throw things at us. We've had to endure nuclear tests, oil spills, hiding ourselves from curious humans. They are OUR seas. You attacked us first."
Actaeon gave him a curious look. "Wait... what happens when you guys sneeze?"
"Are you familiar with algae on top of the waves?"
...
"BLUUUUUUURRRRRRGH!!"
"Charming."

 

@MateusseDarkslight Im not even sure how to responfd to what I just read. Please tell me he was joking about why the ocean was salty.

 

@Locks I don't think he's joking. Maybe we should do something about the saltiness, I don't want my character to start swimming in the sea knowing this.

 

@Locks When you think some ideas out to their logical conclusion, suddenly they're not so cool or funny anymore And I was not joking - think about it. When merpeople breed, not all the semen's going to stay inside the female, is it? They've been around for millennia, evolving from fish, during the initial population boom there must have been enough excess to spread throughout the entire sea. And the Red Sea is essentially a strip club for merpeople (saltiest sea in the world). Also, logical explanation for seaweed and algae. Don't even think about sushi. Just... don't even attempt to think about the origins of that.

Actaeon had managed to come to terms with the fact that for centuries, humans had been swimming in the toilet and stained tissues of an entire species.
It had taken a bit more vomiting, but he had somehow managed it.
"So... where is this merman? The one who killed my family?"
The man looked up at him. "Why would I tell you? Are you planning to get revenge?"
"Well, duh."
The man sighed. "Perhaps we can come to an arrangement. You find him, you turn him over to us, we bring him to justice our way."
"Will it involve castration?"
The man looked at Actaeon completely calmly. "Well, the standard sentence for the murder of land dwellers is letting a pregnant electric eel swim up the merman's urinary tract, give birth whilst in there, and then let the newborns eat their way out through the intestines in every direction."
Actaeon's face turned green.
"Are you going to vomit again?"
BLARRRRRHHHURGLE!
"...A simple "Yes" would have sufficed."

 

@MateusseDarkslight Uhhhhh but I like sushi and i dont like knowingly swiming in semen. Ug ill just deal with it

 

OOT- I don't think I was going to post in this roleplay but...

+1

I can't top that even on my most inspirational day.

 

"I am not sure if I will be of much help, But I will do my best. What is it that you need me to do?"

“The document I am looking for is hidden away, but at the same time, it is also in plain sight. If we can get to a library, I should be able to find it without too much of a problem. That would also be able to help me gain more information about this place, and what happens around here. I think I may end up staying a while if my client doesn’t have me doing anything for quite a bit. I also want to maybe find some stories about the sea that this place has collected, I am actually quite a bit of a story teller myself, I’ll tell you one soon, if that is fine.” Kiriton said

“By the way, this will stay between you and me, my normal name is Raleigh, but when I am on assignments, I go by the name Kiriton. And as you found out, I have the ability to turn water into ice, and manipulate it.”

Raleigh looked out to the sky, it still had a nice glow to it, something he would rather like to enjoy. Something about Nerissa made him smile, maybe it was the way she could be carefree, or just how she was in general. Raleigh decided that he could trust her, and that she was rather cute. He hoped maybe she would still stay close, even if he did have to do some dirty work.

 

She sat up, brushing off her dress and face. Luckily her dress wasn't too dirty. Slightly embarrassed, Calliope felt the blood rush to face bubbling into a blush. She couldn't see anyone around that could have watched her take her spill. Exhaling a sigh of relief, Calliope hurried off as fast as she could away from the beach. Not going in any general direction, she hoped that she wouldn't run into anyone. Calliope had to be wary of this new form. She wasn't sure whether or not her markings were on her face and shoulders or not. Nervous, she stayed close to the walls and kept her eyes to the ground.

Worries swam through her head. Where was she going to stay? What was she going to do for food? Calliope had no money on her. She was penniless up here. "Yeah, good job with this. You really thought this one through." She quietly criticized herself. Before she knew it, the thing she was afraid of happening had happened. She had ran into something or worse, someone.

She gasped and hid her face behind her hands, "I'm really sorry... I should have watched where I was going."

 

The night was fitful. Dreams of blood, water and screams rolled through his head.
He shivered, spat, and dry heaved in his sleep, and the man opposite him did not move. His phone vibrated, set to silent, and he answered.
"Yes," he said, looking at the young injured man before him. "He should be functional in the morning. No, we're not going to send him after the princess yet. Best we use our new loose cannon to eliminate the more undesirable assets she may possess. Kiriton, yes. The other two girls as well, Calliope and Lily. Best they remain ignorant of things. Yes sir. I understand, sir. Thank you sir. I'll tell him in the morning sir."
A long pause.
"Yes sir - he will be terminated immediately the moment we're done with him." He hung up and steepled his fingers, as their new weapon tossed and turned.

 

A hydra could be helpful... For the people she was running from, someone like Azel would be extremely helpful.
"S-Sure." Lilly reached a hand out and took Azel's.

 

“My client actually has a place for me to stay, and it has quite a view. Whichever library you want to take me to will work, I should be able to find what I’m after without too much of a problem. As for a story, this is one of my favorites, an old one from when I worked for the royal family. It goes a bit like this.” Raleigh said, looking to the sky


“It is said that the world we live on still has many mysteries that remain to be solved. For instance, why we haven’t discovered all the species of animals that exist. One quite strange mystery goes back to ancient times. Before all the civilizations existed, there was a kingdom that had technology that surpassed even the stuff we use now. The people of this kingdom knew how to use their resources well, and prospered from this knowledge. But they grew arrogant and greedy, and this led to their demise. The city was destroyed and supposedly lost under the ocean. I am of course talking about Atlantis, and it is said that those of us who are merpeople are decedents of these people. I like to think that it could be true, but it is just a story. I’m sure that the library will have more stories for me to read, and find out even more facts about this place.”

 

I let out a small sigh of relief. For a second there, I actually thought she was gonna run away. I nod to Lilly with a smile.
"Then it's settled. Starting tomorrow morning, you'll be my assistant here at the dojo. We'll work out the small details later so for now, make yourself at home."
I fold my arms in thought and look down to the floor.
"Let's see...I've got an empty room that you could stay in, but I'll need to get some furniture for it. For tonight, you can sleep in my room and I'll just use that spare futon I've got lying around."
Then it hits me. Ah, crap...she'll be staying in my room. That means she'll see the posters, the game consoles, the anime collection...and especially the posters. I guess there's no helping it.
"Hey, um...try not to laugh when you see my room, okay?"
I tell her half-mumbling, half-whispering.

 

"I'll take the futon." Lilly said calmly. "It's fine, don't worry." She didn't really feel comfortable going into another person's area. "I'm used to sleeping on worse, so really, it's fine. I'm basically going to be freeloading here, I can't inconvenience you too much."