Flash Reviews

X-Men: Apocalypse - 3.5/5

I just wasn't feeling the movie. The emotional scenes had little no effect on me - which is rare.
For a movie titled apocalypse, not much apocalypse took place. Jean's phoenix was kickass though.

 

Part 4 of 4 "Screamathon" review
SCREAM 4

"One generation's tragedy is the next one's joke."

Scream 4, much like the follow-up MTV series, has no reason to exist aside from making a profit. Forget about bringing a fresh new story for a new generation of audience, forget about fanservice paying homage to the originals - it's all just one big pile of by-the-numbers rehash created to milk that last bit of money left from the franchise, and then some if it succeeds at the box office.

There is some cleverness in the movie from the returning writer, Kevin Williamson, but he jumped the ship quickly and left Ehren Kruger to clean up the scraps. Of course, Wes tried to defend that by saying that "it certainly is Kevin's script and concept and characters and themes", but this film oozes of the goofy tone and wooden acting from Scream 3, also written by Kruger.

The final twist at the end, especially, was so cheesy. Just when you think the villain's motivation wasn't terrible enough in the last one, in come some edgy tryhard hipster with "pretentious" written all over the face. The first time I watched it, I thought it had potential. The villain becoming the new face of the franchise hearkens back to Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, when a unique perspective was thrown in to spice things up. But ugh, the execution here just doesn't quite meet that potential and ends up feeling like desperation to keep the series afloat rather than any genuine spark of creativity.

In the end, Scre4m feels like going back to that high school reunion for the umpteenth time, meeting old friends you like seeing again, but bumping into a bunch of no-name strangers along the way that dampen the mood, making for a rather stale gathering you regret spending time at. Hopefully, the movie franchise will stay dead this time.

4/10

 

THE FINAL GIRLS (2015)

"The feel good horror movie of the year!" - trailer tagline

There are little things I like about the movie, and if each of these elements were found in their own separate movie, I probably would've liked them more. Blended together, however, it forms a strange concoction that I'm not sure how to feel about... It certainly isn't the kind of "good" the tagline suggested, I'll say that much.

The thing is, The Final Girls is a fun movie. It has fairly clever jokes mocking the "Friday the 13th" series (almost exclusively mocking it, it seems, rather than include references to other slashers). It has very down to earth and relatable characters that are realistic, not contrived, artificial caricatures with the wit of Ricky Gervais that no teenager could imitate in real life. There's also a well-written character arc about a girl overcoming the death of her mother, and in the process, growing up just a bit. There's almost a "Back to the Future" vibe to Max returning to an '80s setting to visit her mother (and for a brief flashback, the '50s too), and much like Marty McFly, Max comes out a more mature kid by the end, moving on with her life and getting closure.

All that's well and good, and I would be lying if I said I didn't feel emotional from the story. But you know, by the end of it, it still feels kinda empty, like there's something missing, like there's a missing punchline to the this joke. Like what's the point the movie is trying to make? There's no coherence between the meta-humor and the bittersweet drama. It feels like a jumbled mixture where the director just throws in whatever looks good to get a 'feel good' reaction out of the audience, regardless of whether it works or not.

I feel like the reason the film wasn't as satisfying for me as it was for others is because the things I liked had drowned out one another. When there's a moment of character development, it sacrifices that to make some jokes again, and vice versa. The ending, for example, could have been used to really wrap up the characters' lives after the whole ordeal, but instead, another gag is thrown in just to liven up the mood. It's as if the film's afraid of getting too serious. I mean, god, it's a parody of R-rated films with a PG-13 rating. How much more toned down do you need to get?

In conclusion, I expected something a little more funnier, a little more intelligent, and a little more emotional. Something that could have truly grabbed my heart till the end and leave me saying, "Oh my god, that was awesome!" instead of "Meh, that was an okay ending. It was kinda clever, I guess."

7/10

 

A TALE OF TWO SISTERS (2003)

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There's an American remake for this movie called "The Uninvited". Much like the other American adaptations of foreign movies, it's probably easier to understand (dumbed down) for the mainstream audience and has a much less convoluted (predictable and cliche) storyline. Oh Hollywood.

A Tale of Two Sisters is a movie about guilt, and how a single moment of mistake spurred by petty impulsion can make you regret forever. I wouldn't necessarily call this a horror movie after seeing the ending, since the events that had unfolded in the story were less horrific and more tragic. And even before I saw the twist ending, Asian 'horror' movies use such common cliches nowadays that it's hard to get scared anymore. Noises, long-haired women, crazy girls acting as batshit insane as Hilary Clinton; been there, done that. That being said, it's okay for me not to be scared of the story, or even disturbed. I get what the movie is saying, and I acknowledge the tragedy element of it, so that should be good enough... right?

Maybe I'm getting old, or maybe my ADHD is getting worse, but movies don't quite register with me like in the old days, where I'd get very emotional with them. I think part of the fact is because of the director's focus on making this movie a puzzle to figure out after its ending rather than an emotional film to enjoy 'in the moment' of it. Multiple viewings are probably needed to fully appreciate this work. The thing is though, if a film doesn't intrigue me or make me feel something the first time, I won't bother giving it a second try - no matter how 'deep' it's "supposed" to be.

Or maybe the characters just suck, shallow caricatures of real mental patients burying a vague and pretentious message much simpler than the movie pretends it is. Maybe sometimes, a pipe is just a pipe, and a tragedy is sympathetic, but not necessarily traumatic or disturbing to an audience.

7/10

 

WRECK-IT RALPH (2012)
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Note: This is a special review as a response to certain top-rated reviews on a movie website I frequently write reviews on, letterboxd. The reviews with the most likes gave this movie a 2 and 3 star rating out of 5, and they caught my interest. In response, I wrote the following reply.

I didn't expect to like this movie. When I saw the trailer back then, it didn't really catch my interest for some reason... even though I would go on to watch Disney's Frozen a year later (which I did dislike). But coming out of the movie, it actually felt like a pretty cool story with its heartstring tugging. I still probably don't love it as much as many people did, with all their high praises on how this is the triumph of Disney over Pixar movies, even though they both fall under the same brand, and even though the chief creative officer of Pixar (John Lasseter) served as the executive producer of this movie. Being a Pixar fanboy myself (at least more so back then), this gave me even more reasons not to watch this.

But I digress. What I'm trying to say is, I was surprised at the amount of hate this film received in the reviews. People are comparing it to Shrek, people calling it soulless and run-of-the-mill. I don't love this movie enough to defend it to the death, but to call it soulless is a bit of stretch. I definitely teared up a little bit at the end. Me, a grown-ass man.

First off, you gotta understand something: the video games references are little. This is not a movie catered towards old-school video game fans. Yes, there is a significant amount of references in the first act of the story, but for the rest of it, it's very light and sprinkled all over like sugar strands. This is good because I don't want to watch a movie solely for its references. There are those shitty Friedberg and Seltzer spoof movies for that. That said, it is a bit disappointing that it didn't do too much with its references. Scream used its references to subvert or at least make fun of the horror movie tropes, and so did The Cabin in the Woods. The references in this movie, on the other hand, merely exist and don't serve a very contributive role to the storytelling.

That said, the blatant Mario Kart homage is a lot of fun to watch. The aforementioned critical reviews hated the Sugar Rush scene, calling it annoying and juvenile. Somebody ring the Ghostbusters to catch the ghost of C. S. Lewis, because we've got some edgy adults here thinking a cartoon is too juvenile! I felt it was just a lot of fun, watching the various creative power-ups the characters get to utilize. Here's the kicker - I don't even play Mario Kart! I don't even like Nintendo or Mario! And I still liked it!

And also, annoying? That sweet little girl who just wants to fit in? What's the matter with you people? Am I seeing a different picture here? I mean, I don't love Vanellope as much as many adults do (to a creepy level), but cooooome on, annoying?! Don't tell me you didn't even shudder a little bit when Ralph did that really bad thing to her which I won't spoil in this review. That was a great tearjerking scene!

And speaking of that scene, can we just talk about how that scene explored the best part of this story, Ralph's struggle to become a true hero? Okay, it is a cliche concept, I get it, but it works in this story. If it's not broken, don't fix it Fix-It Felix! Take your knock-off Thor's Hammer outta here! The whole idea of Ralph's character arc is that you shouldn't judge yourself by material worth, but (yes, I know it's saccharine af) by what's on the inside. And you know, as childish as the concept sounds, the story actually handles it quite maturely. I was actually surprised how dark one part of the story went to. And honestly, with how vain our society is, full of self-entitlement and cynicism, a little childish message about cherishing your personality over your wealth goes a long way.

And to that one review saying how the movie subverts its own message about changing your life for the better, which I'm guessing you were talking about how Ralph and Vanellope stayed largely in the same status-quo (more so for Ralph than Vanellope), you've clearly missed the point! They did change! They're no longer insecure little f***s any more seeking for some pipe dream over the rainbow road (which also makes a cameo appearance in this film by the way). They've accepted their roles in life and have matured. I can't see any contradiction in that.

Finally, the side characters. Yes, I know that the side characters don't really get very fleshed out character arcs, and yes, I'll minus points for that. To be honest, I couldn't care less about Sergeant Calhoun (AKA Ellen Ripley wannabe stuck in a Halo game) or Fix-It-Fillet or whatever his name is. They are empty caricatures that don't serve very important roles aside from moving the story forward, granted. That romance at the end? It's stupid, I agree. It doesn't make much sense. There's no poetic connection between those two characters' personalities for their romance to be anything other than random, and I am annoyed by romances that are romances just for the sake of having a romance ship. All that said and done, it still doesn't take away from the story, IMO, aside from serving as minor distractions.

And what's with the comparison with Shrek and Pixar films? This is one of those films where it works on its own. I'm not a big Shrek fan, I'll be honest, and it might have been a better story about a villain trying to be a hero, but I haven't seen it in years so I wouldn't know. And yes, this film can be considered a poor man's version of Toy Story since that film did identity crisis in inanimated objects far better. But a funny thing about movies is that everybody has a subjective opinion about them. You know which movie did I share the same criticisms mentioned here? Guardians of the Galaxy. Everybody said they had a fun time, but I knocked it for its cheesy and shallow villain, with just as shallow antihero archetypes as its main characters. The side characters sucked, some of them were practically phoning it in for a quick buck, and I was so bored watching that movie. But everybody loved it, yes they did.

But if everybody loved that movie, while me and other vocal majority voiced out about how emotional we felt watching this one - how bad can it be?

7/10