Complete! Final Fantasy VII as played by Doomguy

Tactics was fun, can't really get myself to play it again. Actually I'm hitting my limit on FF7. This is where I usually call it quits.
Disc 2 is more boring then I remember.

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Did someone say boring?

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Hehe. Okay so I make my way to Junon harbor, I have to bribe the elevator guy and this is what happens when 3 guys and one girl are in an elevator together.

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Cloud x Elevator Women confirmed for remake

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Never mind

We make our way to the underground sub base. Eventually we reach the sea floor.

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There was something special here, I think a monster that had something to do with the underwater weapon? It's some kind of special sidequest, I did it a long time ago and I can't be bothered to look it up. Let's just keep going.

Eventually after a lot of fights (I did need the money), we reach a boss fight!

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Don't be fooled by my high health, this guy spammed his laser move TWICE at the start of this battle. If Cloud didn't have that magic barrier equip (right of his name), he would have been instant KO'd along with the rest of my party. Thankfully the boss gave me just enough time to revive the party. Tough boss when he spams that laser move, it shaved more then half the others health.

Beat the boss and then steal a submarine. I felt bad for these guys, they were the same ones that I taught my "special pose" for the Rufus ceremony.

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So now it's another minigame! This time we have to sink the enemy leader sub that is carrying the Huge Materia.

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I'm a Silent Hunter IV player myself

After we sink the enemy Cloud tells us to ignore the materia for now, we have to intercept the Shinra at the airport!
Of course I go back there and make it too late. It seems the Shinra is taking the last Huge Materia to Rocket Town. How do we know that? Cloud says so! (Really this game isn't making much sense anymore. I was under the impression the submarine WAS the last target)

So we fight the Shinra at the Rocket Town when Cid forces his way into my party. After a series of more fights (all too easy), we get inside the cockpit of the rocket! We hear from the crew that the Shinra plan on blowing up the meteor with the Huge Materia (guess no one told them we took more then half of it. Got to love those plot holes). Anyway Cid tells Cloud what he feels.

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Regardless the rocket is set to launch with us still on it!

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It's okay though, Cid prepares for emergencies like this. He has an escape pod so we'll be okay. He also said that we can do whatever we want with the Huge Materia (like he could stop us).
Now this is funny because the minigame to unlock the last materia is a pain. I honestly didn't remember the 4 button combination needed to open the lock. Cid gives you pointless information and you need to input the commands in 3 minutes or lock yourself out of the last materia.
I got it by blind luck after 5 tries!

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We try to escape the rocket but one of the oxygen tanks explodes and traps Cid. Of course this was the same oxygen tank that Cid's assistant Shera kept fretting about in the first rocket launch attempt a long time ago. Cid get's stuck but Shera comes out of nowhere (why is she on the rocket!?), and lends us a hand. We escape the rocket and witness it crash into meteor.

Did it work?

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Nope

This plan fails with or without the materia so that's that. Finally done with this poorly written plot line.
Our next destination is Cosmo Canyon. Maybe the old man there might know something?

 

On the almost impossible chance you have never played this game and failed to heed my earlier warnings...
Spoilers ahead!

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We see the old man again and after a group therapy session, the party remembers about Aeris. Hey how about checking out the Ancient City again? Before we leave if you succeeded in getting the Huge Materia here's where you claim your prize.

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Over at the Ancient City we recall that Aeris had that Holy Materia, it was necessary to stop the black materia.

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Unfortunately for us it fell to where we can't reach it.

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So what do we do? Well that thing we're standing next to might have a clue. There's an insription on it that says something about a key. It's located somewhere where the sun don't shine. No not that place!

How about underwater? We got the submarine, let's look around. Exploring the underwater section I find an abandoned wreck. Surprise encounter with the Turks!

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Turks? Say hello to Bahamut ZERO

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Bahamut ZERO Materia > Black Materia

Then get a game over. Just kidding they were easy. The monsters here WERE NOT. I'll be honest. I almost raged quit the game altogether when a random monster one hit ko'd my party members. Lucky for you there was a save spot that I did use.
For my efforts I get some weapons and the Hades Summon.

I explore some more of the ocean floor where I (deliberately of course) fight the underwater Weapon.

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Noob

Yeah don't do that. I'm not bothering with the side quest stuff in this play through. One time was enough for me.

We find the key thing in a cave somewhere and then return to the Ancient CIty. The key unlocks a vision of Aeris's last moment. It clearly showed that the Holy materia was activated!

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So wait that means it's ready to be unleashed so what's it waiting for? Ah of course... Sephiroth. So our plan is clear, remove Sephi and the Holy Materia will do all the work stopping meteor.

On the way out of the city we get a cutscene. Looks like good old Shinra is up to something again. Remember the giant cannon at Junon? Check out it's new location.

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When we get back on the airship Cait Sith fills us in. The Shinra are planning on blowing away the barrier on the Northern Crater. Taking out Sephi there might stop meteor. Hey that's something we can agree on. Oh but look who rains on our parade.

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Weapon is attacking! The cannons not ready yet so we go out there to stop it ourselves!

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A good fight but I win out. Weapon disengages from us and backs off. Now the cannon is ready to fire!

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The shot knocks Weapon out and hit's the Northern Crater obliterating the shield that protects Sephi inside.
Alright we can go in now! Oh but hold on, something develops inside Shira HQ. The president isn't responding, a cutscene showed that his building got shot up by Weapon's return fire. Is he dead?
We also discover Cait Sith's true identity, he's actually Reevis, the dorky looking guy that was always with Scarlet and Heidegger. Seems like there is a problem at Shinra, the cannon is getting ready for another shot!

It seems Hojo has hijacked the controls and gone crazy. The cannon would blow up if it fired another shot now, Midgard is in danger! So we go back and deal with the crazy doctor.

I make my save here.[/spoiler]

 

Getting real close to the end now, I pick up the pace.
We fly over Midgard and make our move. Over the top boys!

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Alright so we're at this point in the game. Lot's of fights now, mostly pure battles so not a lot of screenshots. Oh but look who wants to get in on the fun.

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You think the Turks would give up by now. After dealing with them I make the mistake of going south. That's a dead end after a good 5+ minutes (then coming back is another 5+ minutes...). At least you can get the W-Item materia that lets you use two times at once. Yeah...

So after wandering in the tunnels I go all the way north. That takes me to Shinra HQ. Cait Sith tells me that's the wrong way though. I go in there anyway. If you take the ridiculously long stairway you can net yourself some items but that takes a good 5+ minutes of climbing too. Ugh. Oh and you can get Cait Sith's special weapon on one of the upper floors of the HQ.

Anyway that's the wrong way. Go back to the tunnel system and go back one section and turn left. Eventually we get out and make some progress. Progress? Guess that means a boss fight!

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It's our laughing duo of Scarlett and Heidegger. We beat up their robot who had a lot of health it seems. At last we make it to the cannon control where Hojo awaits.

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Hojo tells us his "son" needs more mako energy. Oh well would you look at that, Sephiroth's father is in fact Hojo. Also Sephi is kind of mistaken in saying Jenova is his mother, Sephi was born from a human female. However Hojo injected Jenova cells into the womb before his birth.
You know, SCIENCE.
Bastard. Oh look, he did it to himself also!

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COME AT ME BRO!

Nice screenshot there. I'm getting good. So I beat him, is that all he got? Nope.

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Damn he got ugly fast. Looks kind of like Jenova now. I throw everything I have at him and beat this form. Of course that's not all there is folks!

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It's not getting easier and after a very long time of not needing to, I actually had to keep an eye on my magic level. Couldn't spam the high level spells since I needed spare for healing. Well I beat him in any case. A thankful Cait Sith rewards us with nothing (okay so it's not like he could have given us anything in his position but still...)

Now it's time to attack Sephi at the Northern Crater! First thing we need to do is strengthen out our resolve. Cloud tells the group to get their priorities sorted out before the battle. If you skip out on the mission now no one would blame you, it's not like anyone is really built for the "saving the world" stuff. This gives us private time with Tifa...

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Yes! Yes! Finally my reward! Wait black screen? I demand a remake.

So after a day passes with an implied game of chess we go back to the ship. Cloud is psyched up for the battle

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Like last night?

Of course our party is there to greet us to the surprise of Cloud and Tifa who thought they ditched them. Now why would they leave the number one show on earth? That's some great blackmail material they got on them now (okay, okay, I'll stop with the innuendo! Maybe...)

Time to insert disk 3! I save here.

 

I was going to do a whole bunch of sidequests but tbh now that I'm this close to the end of the game I just want to finish it.

Things I didn't do in this play through is quite extensive.

• The Wutai sidequest, some barebones backstory on Yuffie. I just don't want to deal with losing my materia.
• Knights of the Round summon. Two reasons, 1- it's completely OP. This summon breaks the game and makes it easy mode. 2-
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• The Weapon fights. They take too long, they don't even give you anything that was worth the effort and I just don't feel like it
• The flying weapon battle (The one that runs away from you all the time). I forgot about this one, he's the easiest. He gives you Ultimate weapon for Cloud. I don't remember what made it so "Ultimate".
• Max my stats. Pass.
• Get all those special materia like 2x cut, and others. I forgot how and I'm too lazy to look it up. Besides they make the game easier anyway.
• Find the cave where Sephiroth's real mother is located. I completely forgot what happens here, I know Vincent had something to do with this. Oh well.
• Omnislash for Cloud. Did I have something to do at the Golden Saucer for this? I forget, screw that place anyway.
• Golden Saucer games. Hahaha... no. Some minigames have not aged well
  
• Probably a bunch of other stuff I forgot.
• Find Aeris at the church in Midgard and recruit her for the final battle

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Into the crater!

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I was afraid I was too unprepared for this place. Usually I have a more ideal setup to handle these guys. For the most part it wasn't too bad. Except for these guys.

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Not worth it. They hit with Ultima which knocked half my party out. Forget it, just ran from them. They didn't give that great exp anyway. Eventually I make it to a split in the path.

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I screwed up royally here. I accidentally told my entire party to go one way while I went somewhere else
Guess that means lot's of running away from battles.

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And from him

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Definitely get away from this tiny bastard

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And get away from the greedy pot dudes

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Yes I know I could get good experience from giving them elixir's but I would rather stockpile them for the suspected tough battle ahead. The party reunites and reaches the core. Oh but look who blocks our path!

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For the last time we fight Jenova. While it did hit pretty hard it was too slow to followup with the damage. Towards the end of it's life a countdown popped up. I didn't wait to see what it did and knocked it out while it was at 3.
The only tough Jenova was that water one back with Aeris.

I get mad here because somehow I'm not given the option to save or anything. I have literally gone from the start of this writing to this point without a save. Realizing I'm about to enter a possible fight I can't win I save state.

I'll stop writing here then. I believe we're at the end guys![/spoiler][/spoiler]

 

This is it! Level 59 and ready to kick Sephi's butt!

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First form Sephiroth is pretty easy. I believe this fight is dependent on the level of your party. If I remember correctly it's actually easier the lower your level is. Use you multihit spells to knock out his arms. Then go for his weak head. The head revives itself but not the arms. Follow through with your attacks on the yellow lower body. That part had an annoying tendency to heal the chest area which is his real HP.

Save your magic, you'll need it for the final form.

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Oh yes, now it gets real! This guy hits hard and nails with with nasty status effect moves. A rundown on the moves I saw him use.

• Pale Horse- Hit's a party member hard (though they usually survive). What made it annoying was the fact that it inflicted things like "small" or frog.
• Shadow Flare- At least for my level this ko'd whoever it hit, not even buff spells could stop it.
• Regular attacks- Same as above in my case.
  
• Wall- He started the battle using this. Use de-spell so your magic moves actually do damage. I haven't seen him recast it but the barrier part lasted almost the whole battle
• Deen- Some kind of move that hit the entire party for moderate damage.
  
• Heartless Angel- Didn't Kefka have this move? Put's the entire party at 1 HP. Considering that all his other moves basically 1hko'd me this was easily countered by a timely Cure 3 spell.
• De-spell- Lol. He kept trying to remove my "Haste" buff. Use that buff spell to make Sephi waste his time. Remember it's 3 vs 1. Even if it hit's the whole party it would give the other two people time to attack while the third person recast it.
  
• Supernova
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  Who needs meteor when you could blow up the sun!? This is Sephi's trademark move. 2 plus minutes of an unskippable cutscene. This move will NEVER kill you and you know he's about to use it soon after he lifts himself off the ground. I noticed he used it often after Pale Horse.

It get's worse after Supernova. The move has a random chance to inflect silence and confusion on the party. You would never guess what my confused Cait Sith did.

Come on guess.

Really you want to know what he did when I nearly beat Sephi?

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He gave Sephi one of my Megaelixir's

Needless to say that will have to go down as one of, if not the #1 troll moment a video game did to me. That was like that stupid turtle boss in Skies of Arcadia healing his entire health after you fruitlessly brought his health down after half an hour.

Anyway I reset and tried again, this time RNG was nicer to me. Sephi hits hard but his defense left a lot to be desired. I beat him!
Oh one more thing...

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Omnislash what's that...OH YEAH!

And that's how it goes! Here's the ending movie.

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Ending was...meh. Certainly hasn't aged too well, also what's with that 500 years later thing? Didn't anybody bother to rebuild Midgar? This game really does need a remake, with the improved storytelling techniques nowadays it could really revitalize interest in the older games.

So there you have it, I believe I will bench this game for good now. One of the earliest rpg games I ever played, at the time my nooby self gave it a 10. Over time I dropped it to an 9, but now I can really see it's flaws and give it an 8.

Hey an 8 compared to all the other games now so that's really good!

Thanks @Sporadic for letting me flood this thread with my nostalgic filled posting and to everyone I hope you enjoyed my play through.

So what's next?