New Profile Posts

This is the path I walk. Not you or anyone can change that.

I’m kind of glad dinosaurs are extinct. Pretty sure I’d try to keep one as a pet.

What I have is not a dream, because I will make it a reality.

Hello

I’m not challenging your authority; I’m denying it completely.

When people tell me “you’re gonna regret that in the morning,” I sleep until noon, because I’m a problem solver.

The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.

Laying in bed at 3am and thinking that you should’ve said something different in that argument that you had in 2011.

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Things are so bad, our leaders have admitted that UFOs exist and no one cares.

I’m old school, I still believe in respect.

I’m tired of working on myself. From now on, I’m going to be unapologetically insane.

Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall, It took me a moment to realize that they meant autumn, and not the collapse of civilization.

You can’t leave those who created the problem in charge of the solution.

Apparently, “the vibes are off” isn’t a good enough excuse to leave work early.

I’d like to thank my middle finger, for all those times sticking up for me when I needed it the most.

They’re not red flags, they’re fun facts about me.

No matter how good your heart is, eventually you start to treat people the way that they treat you.

Her: Undress me with your words. Me: There’s a spider in your bra.

Wonder if the skulls of your enemies are dishwasher safe. Asking for a friend.