ORC HIGH SCHOOL

Story needs no explanation you're an orc in high school.

 

Characters

Name
Age
Sex
Year

 

GRANK LIKE THIS THREAD!
NAME: GRANK!
SEX: GRANK LIKE SEX!
YEAR: GRANK SUFFER 12 YEARS OF SCHOOL.
AGE: GRANK DONT KNOW NUMBER PAST 7. SO GRANK 7.

GRANK IS BIG ORC. GRANK LIKE MANY PARTY. GRANK MAKE BAD GRADES SO GRANK MOM MAD.
GRANK GET IN TROUBLE WITH PUNY PRINCIPAL HUMAN.
GRANK NOW IN ORCOLOGY CLASS.

TEACHER ORC SAYS "Grank, please pay attention to the lesson. In the beginning, there were two types of orcs. Now there is one, as the species have melded."

"NO TEACH TODAY, PUNY TEACHER ORC!" GRANK BELLOW.

GRANK STORM OUT OF CLASSROOM, BREAK DOOR ON WAY.

"GRANK HATE PUNY HIGH SCHOOL PLACE!"
GRANK SULK BY LOCKERS.

 

Name: Grug
Age: 23 (kept back 2 years) (Grug no know how do math...)
Sex: Male
Year: Senior, 12? Whatever you Americans use...




The overzealous and ever so muscular Grug stepped into the cafeteria, picking up a tray and looking at his peers. He thinks for a moment... who am I kidding, he can't think. He lifts his tray and releases the deadliest and most horrifying battle cry ever, "HUGA BUGA!" He then proceeds to beat a peer down, "THIS GRUG FOOD NOW!"

He reaches down and scoops a pile of mash with his bare hand, bringing to his mouth and rubbing it... that should work to feed him, right? He repeats this process with a multiple of others, stealing their food each time before sitting on a table with hopes that it'd carry his immense weight; he was wrong. As he sat upon the wooden table, its support beams snapped, causing him to tumble onto the ground in a stunned daze before leaping upwards, roaring and proceeding to smash more heads!

 

GRANK ENTER LUNCH ROOM, SCANNING FOR ORC BABES.
WHEN GRANK NO SEE GOOD ORC BABES, GRANK FIND FIGHT INSTEAD.
HE SEE GRUG.
"GRUG FIGHT GRANK NOW."
GRANK BREAK PIECE OF TABLE TO USE AS CLUB.
GRANK CLUB BIG AND STRONG, LIKE GRANK.

 

Grug turns around to see Grank

"YOU PUNY SCUM, I MAKE YOU MINI GRUG AND TEACH YOU GRUG WAY!"

He reaches behind him to grab whatever he may find, which happens to be another student, Georgina. Then he throws her at Grank.

"CATCH GUNK!"

 

Name: ROM
SEX: YES! PLEASE
YEAR: 9
AGE 26

ROM STEP IN CAFETRIA AND SEE ORC FIGHT! I NO LIKE SEE ORC FIGHT BUT ROM FIGHT VIOLENCE VIOLENCE.

ROM COME IN AND THROW KETCHUP CONTAINER AT GRUNK AND GRUG THEN STEP UP ON TABLE AND THROWS HIMSELF DOWN ON THEM

"ROM IS STRONGEST ORC IN HIGH SCHOOL I SHOW GRUNK & GRUG TRUE ORC VIRILITY!"

 

GRANK SWING WILDLY AT PUNY FLYING ORC, BREAKING IT IN HALF
"GRUUUUUUG MUUUUUUST DIIEEEEEE!"
GRANK BEGINS SWINGING BLINDLY INTO THE CROWD, SHATTERING 7 SKULLS IN THE PROCESS. I THINK 7. GRANK NO DO GOOD MATH!

GRANK SEE ROM DROP INTO FIGHT. CONTINUES SWINGING, SHOUTING ORC OBSCENITIES.
"FURG DARG GRAKKER!"
GRANK SEE PIZZA WHILE SWINGING.
"GRUG! ROM! NO MORE FIGHT, PIZZA!"
GRANK EAT MANY PIZZA, DEVOUR THE UNBORN CHEESES.
"GRUG! ROM! YOU EAT TOO. HELP WITH PIZZA KILL."
"MAKE US BIG AND STRONG FOR ORC BABES"

GRANK SEE MANY ORC BABES WATCHING NOW.
GRANK MAKE BIG FLEX.
ORC BABES LIKE GRANK.

 

Grug didn't know if he should back down yet... Babes were inbound and he needed to show he ultimate man! "WE EAT NOW, MAKE BABIES LATER, AND FIGHT LATERER!" He pointed at a random girl, "YOU MINE LATER."

He sat down and started eating, rolling up entire pizzas and just pushing it down his throat, choking occasionally.

Mid-way through his 28th pizza, he reaches into his back pocket, pulling out a small bottle of machine grease, squirting it onto his hands and pulling his hair backwards, "NOW GRUG LOOK LIKE ZAC EFRON HAD BABIES WITH THE ROCK!!"

 

GRANK REVEAL BIG BOTTLE OF POLISH.
GRANK SHINE BALD HEAD.
"NOW GRANK LOOK LIKE BUFFER MR CLEAN."
GRANK GROW MANLY BEARD INSTANTLY FROM STRONGEST WILL.
GRANK USE PIECES OF BROKEN SKULL TO TIE BRAID.
AFTER MAKING PRETTY TIME, GRANK EAT 46 PIZZAS, INCLUDING BOX.
...GRANK ALSO EAT PIZZA GUY. GRANK HAS PROBLEM. NO JUDGE.


GRANK PUT LEASH ON MANY ORC BABE.
"YOU GRANKS NOW! GRANK EXPECT RESPECT AND ADMIRATION!"
"Oh Grank, you big strong orc" they cooed.
GRANK SMILE AND REVEAL 2 1/2 POUNDS OF CHEESE STUCK IN BIG ORC TEETH.

GRANK NO CARE! GRANK SEXY AND HE KNOW IT!

 

Grug got up from his seat, looking around when suddenly he jumped, a pole erupting from the ground and impaling through the roof. He moved up to it, resting a han on it before looking at the babes, "GRUG SHOW YOU HE GOT THE MOOOOOOVES LIKE JAGGER!"

He proceeded to poledance for what seemed like eternity, moving away afterwards and raising his hands, multiple poles comes up around them, "NOW YOUR TURN! FOLLOW GRUG EXAMPLE!"

He looked off to the side and saw a puny orc, "YOU! SCRUBY MCNECKBEARD! DO ME WORKHOME AND I NO KILL YOU!"

 

GRANK VERY CONFUSED ABOUT POLEDANCER GRUG.
"GRANK NO BE FRIENDS WITH GRUG. GRUG HAVE MANY ISSUE."
GRANK PRETEND HE NOT SEE WHAT HE SEE.
GRANK DRAG ORC BABES TO MATH CLASS.

...GRANK HATE MATH CLASS.
GRANK ABOUT TO MAKE MANY LAUGH IN CLASS.

 

Name: Smashington
Age: 34
Sex: Male, as you can clearly see, you fool!
Year: He's a teacher, you twit! Pay attention.

Smashington walked at a leisurely pace down the hallway, his fedora fitted ever so properly on his head and his monocle sitting perfectly on his face, as he would have it no other way. He came to the door of his classroom and after wiping the handle with a small rag-- you never know what sort of ruffians have been touching it, after all-- he opened the door and gazed into the classroom. What he saw startled the living daylights out of him which made him jump in surprise and nearly drop his monocle! He glared at the troublemakers and spoke in a loud, but very professional and composed voice.
"I say, whatever do you think you're doing in my classroom?!"
He quickly walked up to his desk-- but not too quickly, as that would be so unlike a gentleman-- and addressed the class.
"Let me make one thing very clear to you, my fellows. Such crude behavior is quite unbefitting of young, strapping orcs such as yourselves and it simply will not be tolerated! Indeed, I will not stand for it a moment longer!"
To calm himself, he took a sip from his wine glass. It wasn't quite enough, so he chugged down the rest of the glass and ate the glass itself. With his pinky finger extended, of course.

 

GRANK STARE AT FANCY PANTS TEACHER MAN.
GRANK MAKE MANY LAUGH AT HIM.
"HA. HA. HA."
"GRANK THINK TEACHER MAN NOT KNOW TRUE ORCNESS."
"GRANK ORCNESS SUPER GOOD."
"GRANK THINK ETIQU...ETIQUO....MANNERS ARE FOR PUNY HOOOMANSES"
GRANK FLEX FOR ORC BABES.
"LOOK HOW STRONG GRANK BE, ORC BABES."
"GRANK BREAK DESK, WITH MIND."
GRANK SMACK HEAD INTO DESK, BREAKING IT.
"SEE? GRANK BREAK WITH MIND."

 

With an angry snarl, Smashington picked up the broken pieces of his desk after Grank's brutish assault and swiftly hurled them out the window.
"Yes, quite. I suppose it's rather fortunate that you found some sort of use for that overgrown skull of yours since you clearly have no use for the atrophied brain rolling around in there."
He walked up to Grank's desk, fixed the monocle on his face and suddenly, with one swift chop from his hand, broke Grank's desk in half. He then growled lowly at the student as he glared intensely at him. Clearly, Smashington does NOT take kindly to people breaking his things.
"Let's see how many "babes" you can find in the principal's office after school today, mister Grank."

 

"GRANK NO FEAR OF PUNY PRINCIPAL HOOMAN"
Grank shook from fear at the thought of the only frightening thing in his life, though
"PLEASE NO CALL GRANK MOM THOUGH. LAST TIME SCHOOL CALL GRANK MOM, GRANK MOM MAKE GRANK DO...MATH!"
GRANK FLEX FOR ORC BABES AGAIN BECAUSE GRANK ACCIDENTALLY SHOW PUNY FEAR
"I MEAN.. GRANK STRONGEST ORC. GRANK MOST HANDSOMEST ORC. GRANK NO AFRAID OF WORDS!"

 

Smashington stroked his glorious Orc beard in deep thought for a moment.
"You do not wish for me to call your mother? Very well, I have a proposition, a compromise if you will."
He then cleared his throat loudly.
"Attention, class."
There was no change in the noise level and rowdiness of the class.
"I said attention!"
Still nothing.
"I will have your attention, class!"
You get the idea.
Now Smashington has had enough of this tomfoolery. He took off his reading glasses, tore his shirt open, AND LET OUT A YELL LOUD ENOUGH TO ECHO OFF THE WALLS OF THE CLASSROOM.
"YOU LISTEN NOW, MAGGOTS!!!!!"
The whole class fell silent. After breathing heavily for a few seconds, Smashington calmed down and addressed the class.
"Now then, Grank. We are going to settle this in the ancient way, as proper Orcs do! You and I will engage in the time-honored tradition of a MEAT EATING CONTEST!"
A cheer erupted from the class.
"If you win, your mother will not be called. If you lose, you will have to listen as I call her myself. Understood?"

 

Grank's excitement grew exponentially by the moment as Smashington explained the rules of the contest.

"ME ALWAYS HUNGRY! ME NEVER LOSE!"

In reality, for as brain damaged of an Orc as Grank was, there was still the realization that he could actually lose this competition as he had just eaten more pizza than the average human consumed in a year, within a 20 minute span.

"GRANK NEED QUICK BATHROOM BREAK FIRST!"

Grank ran quickly towards the bathroom, clearly clenching and waddling as he went. All the classroom could hear was groaning and the sound of the walls of the school shaking. After a few minutes, Grank returned with a disgusting smile on his face, leftover pizza still smeared on his teeth.

"GRANK READY TO GO NOW. GRANK MAKE LOTS OF SPACE! GRANK ACCEPT TEACHER ORC CHALLENGE!"

Grank began flexing again, this time, not for the Orc babes, but to show Smashington that he was ready for battle. He would not let his ancestors down. He knew they were watching from whatever Orc afterlife there may be. Though they probably wouldn't understand the situation if they were, as they were also really, really dumb.






OOT: Changing Grank's narration style because this shit is kinda hard to read, Grank still big dumb though, so Grank no talk good English. Narrator talk good English now though.

also OOT: This was the true purpose of the site. Everything has lead to us finding ourselves here, roleplaying orcs in a high school. This is what peak writing looks like. The world is in awe.

 

OOT: Indeed, it is a brave new world of roleplaying that we are journeying into. Very postmodern, very avant-garde if I do say so myself. Decades from now, scholars will recognize that we were far ahead of our time. Also, I'm changing the text color to something more Orcish.



"Very well, then!"
Smashington pulled out an armored gauntlet from under his desk and tossed it out the window. Eh, close enough, right?
"Consider the gauntlet thrown, young Grank! Now, let us make our way to the cafeteria."
One of the students gave a confused growl and spoke up.
"We no have class?"
Smashington's eyes bulged.
"NO CLASS. CONTEST FIRST. CONTEST MORE IMPORTANT!!!"
The class erupted in cheers, yelling, and clumsy applause as Smashington led the way out of his classroom.

In the cafeteria, preparation were made for the challenge. Students from all over the school--even those who were supposed to be in class--gathered around to witness the duel. The cooks started working overtime, there was a light show in the works, some smoke machines were brought in, and there was a guy with a microphone who was probably supposed to be the announcer--but his mic didn't have any batteries, so he was just kinda shouting for no good reason. Speaking of noise, there was more than just the sound of Orcs yelling, cheering, and breaking stuff, although there was a lot of that.

But there was also music! What kind of music, you ask? Well...think of dubstep, right? Except the timing on the beat is always a little off, instruments are just kinda thrown into the mix randomly, and there are a whole lot of sounds like breaking glass, fart noises, and screams--not like death metal screams, just random screaming, and a whole lot of it. There's also a vocalist technically, but he just yells "BREAK STUFF!!!" into the mic every twenty seconds or so. It's a big hit with the Orc teens these days, but older Orcs mostly prefer the Orc-chestral classics, more on that later.

Smashington and Grank took their seats in the center of the cafeteria. As soon as they sat down, a giant gong was rung (there's also a giant gong, by the way) and the chefs started bringing out plated of food. On these plates were giant, glorious stacks of meat from basically every animal you could think of. Some of it was seasoned, some of it might have even been cooked, but the point is that it was all meat, like any proper Orc feast should be. Smashington dug in with gusto, quickly getting barbeque sauce all over his torn shirt which had actually looked pretty nice this morning, what a shame.

He devoured plate after plate--sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally--in short order, shouting "MORE!!" after he'd finished each one. He stopped somewhere between a sh*tload and a f*ckton of food (no swearing in school, kids) and shouted "THIRSTY. DRINK!" in a primal way as his Orcish nature had definitely and obviously gotten the better of him by now. The chefs obliged, bringing out a barrel of ale (because drinking in school is just a fun time). Smashington stood up, clenched his fist, and punched open the top of the barrel, which he then lifted up and drank from like a Viking who just discovered mead. He put down the empty barrel with a satisfied grunt and shouted another order.

"SMASHINGTON WANT FANCY FOOD. BRING OUT LAMB!"
The chefs obliged, bringing out a live, bleating sheep. They tossed it over and Smashington caught it by the neck in midair, and he proceeded to...well, have you played Mortal Kombat? Yeah, he did that. Basically, he rammed his hand through the sheep's chest, ripped out its heart and ate the heart in one fell swoop. He then wiped his mouth on the sheep's wool and threw the carcass away.
"DELICIOUS LAMB. WORTHY OF PROPER ORC GENTLEMAN. NEED TOOTHPICK NOW."
To get his toothpick, he chomped down on the wooden table, ripping part of it off and crunching it in his mouth for a while. When he was satisfied, he swallowed and belched.
"TEETH CLEAN. LIKE PROPER ORC GENTLEMAN. MORE MEAT NOW!!!"
However, despite his bravado, he was starting to falter slightly.

 

Grank sat down at the table, cracked his knuckles, reached out to the table...
... and picked up his OrcPhone 10
He stood up on the table to get aerial pictures of the food, and in potentially the least sneaky maneuver ever, turned to Smashington and shouted
"GRANK TAKE PICTURE NOW. TEACHER ORC SMILE!"

He then flipped the phone around (because he didn't know there was a camera on the front) and shouted,

"SOMEONE PRESS BUTTON FOR GRANK SELFIE OR YOU ON MENU!"
Several smaller, punier orcs started rushing towards Grank to press the shutter button, and a few even got trampled in the process. The world has no room for weak Orc's anyway, they're basically just ugly humans. After the picture was taken, Grank jumped back onto the ground and sat at the table again before turning towards Smashington.

"GRANK INSTAGRAM FAMOUS. WHERE YOU THINK GRANK GET PIZZA MONEY?"

With his attention fully set on the meal in front of him, Grank seemed to, for the first time in his life, actually formulate a plan.
Slow and steady, he thought.

....his only thought.

With that, Grank began to eat. Not as he normally did, which could likely be considered blind gluttony, but with patience.

"GRANK WATCH TV. LOTS OF TV." he muttered through his slow chewing, relatively quietly, for once.

"YOU KNOW WHAT GRANK WATCH LAST NIGHT?" one plate down, he waited just a moment before moving onto the next.

"GRANK WATCH EATING CONTEST! NO ORC WIN!"

Grank may have likely been the dumbest creature in the entire school -- including the insects in the basement and fish in the pond outside.. but Grank knew his TV.

"YOU KNOW WHY NO ORC WIN MISTER TEACHER ORC?" he paused for a moment as if he was waiting for a response, before boisterously announcing to the entire cafeteria.

"BECAUSE ORC NO PACE! ORC BINGE! HUMAN WON WHOLE COMPETITION! SMALL HUMAN! EVEN SMALL FOR HUMAN!

By this point, Grank had only finished a few plates, but they had not set a time limit. This contest, was, as all Orc contests were, intended to continue until one Orc couldn't -- whether that was by death or unconsciousness.

"GRANK GREAT STRATEGIST!"

Grank paused to continue eating for a moment... a long moment, before realizing what he had just done. He looked up, his whole face gone pale.

"HAHAHAHAH JUST KIDDING THAT BAD STRATEGY NO LISTEN TO GRANK"