TELL SHOGUN HOW TO EDIT THIS

Hey guys, so i'm editing a review and I'm having trouble remembering the correct logical statement. The sentence basically says that time travel is "juxtaposed" to coherent story flow, which is meant to mean that it is opposed logically. However that means that the two are there for contrast which is simply not true. A story about the increase of molestation in the catholic church is hilarious when it is followed by a story of the Catholic fun run due to juxtaposition. Time travel is not placed near a storyline for a certain effect. My first instinct was to change it to contraposition, which doesn't seem right either.
I appreciate Ben B.'s intent and I love this review, but I need help because I've never taken logic and this seems like I probably should have.
Maybe I should talk to Colme.

 

WAIT IT'S COUNTERPOSE, I'M SUCH A FOOL. THANKS GUYS.

 

Wait, maybe it's not...

 

Since its my review its probably best if I try and explain it

Basically what I was saying is that a story by definition is sequential, so it goes in a step by step fashion, time travel opposes this because time travel does not need to adhere to a set sequence of events. Thus when compared to the definition of a story, time travel is so conceptually different that it inherently causes issues in the narrative.

Counterpose would be an acceptable replacement but I think contradistinction would be more appropriate, if you still feel juxtaposition is the incorrect technique.

What I was saying in a nutshell is that time travel makes stories difficult to follow, because its not sequential.

Shoot me a message if you have any other queries

 

No messages needed, only one other word choice was questionable and most of your problems are in using two conjunctions together like while... but. To explain, while...but is not good because the but isn't needed. To elaborate:
"While a sentence like this is technically started by the conjunction, it is still technically merging two disparate clauses."
So the first one conjoins clauses (as the first one is a dependent clause).
"A sentence like this is a more straightforward use of the conjunction, while it may not impart as much impact because in the first the two sections are clauses and not sentences that could be on their own."
The second one conjoins sentences, which are able to function independently of each other. I could just as easily say "A sentence like this is a more straightforward use of the conjunction. It may not impart as much impact because in the first the two sections are clauses and not sentences that could be their own."
Notice how the sentence starting with while is wrong if you put but in front of the pronoun it, but if you replace while with but in the second one it's good.

 

But I'm seriously curious about what your background is now because your technical skill is highly advanced.

 

I'll keep that in mind, as you pointed out I tend to overcomplicate my sentences instead of getting straight to the point . My writing style has only really become "advanced" in the last 2 years or so since I started university (business and commerce student). I guess I always had a bit of natural aptitude for writing, but I never had the inclination or motivation to bother reaching my potential in high school. I tend to be too 'wordy', that Steins;gate review was originally 200 words longer than the version I submitted purely from me writing fluff that delivered little to the overall piece other than a higher word count.


Once my anime reviews get more fluidity and refinement I would like to start doing video reviews but that wont be for a little while.