Post your worst joke here

It's raining Cats and Dogs outside. I just stepped in a poodle. Oh my GOd my brother makes that damn annoying joke every time it rains

 

Velcro, what a rip-off.

Cheesey jokes count as bad right?

 

As long as its a joke its OK!

I was standing in the park today wondering why does a Frisbee get bigger the closer it gets to me?

Then it hit me...

 

SO two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says, "Wow. It is hot in here." Then suddenly the other muffin exclaims, "WOW! A Talking Muffin!"

I know my way out...

 

So a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" 

 

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

 

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, “Why the long face?”
The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.


This reminded me of the horse from Family Guy...



So a priest and a Rabi walk into a bar and the bartender goes "What is this, some kind of joke?"

 

"don't trust atoms, they make up everything"
Two atoms are walking down the street, one exclaims I think I lost a electron! The other asks Are you sure? The first one replied I'm positive!
Two men walk into a bar, the third one dunked.

Thats all i know.

 

2 guys walk into a bar and one says "I'll have some H2O" and the second guy says "Yeah, I'll have some H2O too"  The second guy died.

 

The Potato left, now there's no chips.

 

2 guys walk into a bar and one says “I’ll have some H2O” and the second guy says “Yeah, I’ll have some H2O too” The second guy died.


Two scientists walk into a bar
The first scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of H2O”
The second scientist says ‘I’ll have a glass of water too. Wh… why did you say H2O? Like, I know it’s the chemical formula for water and all, but it’s the end of the day and there’s really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work”
The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plan has failed.

 

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender "do you have any helicopter flavored chips?"  The bartender replies, "Nope, only plain."

 

Why are fish so smart? Give up? 'Cause they swim in schools.
Wocka Wocka!

I'll show myself the door on the way out...

 

What do you call Finland's borders?  Finnish lines!

 

Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road?

To go with the traffic jam!

 

Knock knock,
Who's there?
Isabelle,
Isabelle who?
Is a bell necessary on a bike?

 

Why are african americans good at basketball...

Because they're dedicated players.

 

"Quick, drive a stake through his heart!"

"I haven't got a stake. Will a lamb chop do?"

 

Double post to revive the thread

The crime rate was so high, there was a 6 month waiting list to be mugged.