Extraordinary Regularity

Logan had a dull look on his face.
"A bunch of civilians...? This isn't gonna be any fun at all. Ah well, guess it's time to take out the trash."
He walked up to one of the employees and tapped him on the shoulder.

The employee looked quite annoyed as he looked up at Logan.
"What do you want? Can't you see I'm a little busy-- AH!"
His expression soon turned to one of sheer horror.
"I-I-I-INTRUDER! Please don't hurt me!

Logan shook his head.
"Sorry. No can do. But I won't kill you, how about that? You'll only feel the pain for a second so consider yourself lucky."
He smirked a little.
"I just need to make an example of you real quick."
He then walked around to the other side of the man, who was watching him with eyes wide in fear. He gave the man a slight push towards the exit-- but with his power, that slight push sent the mam flying out of the room.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH--URK!"
The employee, who was screaming bloody murder loud enough for the entire room to hear all too well, was cut off by a sudden and very violent impact with the wall in the hallway. He left a large crack in the wall along with some of his blood as his unconscious (but still very much alive) body helplessly flopped to the floor.

Logan turned to face the rest of the employees who forgot all about their computers and simply stared at him, shaking in fear. Logan, being the kind and compassionate man he is, addressed their fears in the most diplomatic way he knew how.
"Pop quiz. Who wants to end up like that guy out there? Show of hands, now."
Unsurprisingly, nobody raised their hand.
"I thought so. Well, you don't have to as long as you do this one little favor for me. It's real simple, shouldn't take very long at all. All you have to do is..."
He took a breath.
"RUN, YOU FOOLS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES OR I'M GONNA EAT YOUR SOULS! BWAHAHAHAHA!"
His hammy, over-the-top performance worked like a charm. The employees were practically tripping over themselves to flee from the office and in less than a minute, the room was cleared.

Logan then turned back to Matthew, looking just as bored as he did before he started.
"It's all yours, go ahead and do your thing."

 

Kitty looked back and forth with worry. "I uh... I got lost?" Kitty hoped the lady would believe it, but she had her doubts. "Y-yeah... I was... Looking for my friends and then the power went out! We must have gotten split up. Haha..." Kitty gulped, she was hoping this was working."W-Well if you'll excuse me!" She slowly started to move towards the exit.

 

Maisie was in awe. This girl wasn't bothered by the horrid screaming going on. She face palmed, dragging her hand down her face. "You got lost in the employee only building that you had to get through security and up a real big elevator? Aye aye, whatever you say, Missy." She followed her, putting her hands behind the back of her head. What the hell did kids even do these days? Break into buildings owned by mega-corporations? Apparently.

 

Valencia thought deeply and hard about what she might want. Some rather outlandish ideas floated through her head. Destruction of the world, total enslavement of mankind to her will, a penis, the destruction of Australia with nuclear fire because Kangaroos are assholes, a tentacle patch... soem other choice ideas came to mind but finally she settled on one.
"I want an android body. With an arm that can turn into a canon and detachable penis." She said laughing at herself. "Futa robot finds your insides displeasing."

Violet spoke up flatly. "We are not getting together."

 

""I'll eat your souls"?" Matthew said disbelievingly. "The theater missed a great talent with you..."
He clapped his hands and the children swarmed invisibly over the machines, laughing and giggling like they were at the playground rather than trespassing in a place that palpably FELT evil. Because they had left the wiring, the power returned to the floor – lights flickered on and the computers whirred into life.
“Kids, focus!” Matthew ordered. “Jacob Babylon! Find him, find his address, his credit card, his place of employment, where he shops, what he eats – find him fast enough and we can go to the movies.”

The children all went “ooooh” and dived into the monitors, and a second later the screens started going insane – static flashing every possible which way, and images and words and numbers passing over them all at the speed of thought. The room started to grow hotter as the ghosts worked the technology almost to its limits.
“They'll be coming now, the cameras are up. I just hope Kitty's stopped the alarm,” Matthew said worriedly. “Don't mess this up, Logan.”
He looked down the other end of the corridor where he could faintly see another elevator, coming steadily up. “Here they come... I think...”


Pawn did not miss a beat.
“And what measurements would you like your new appendage to be once it transforms for entertainment purposes?” he asked smoothly.

 

Logan scoffed.
"You must have me confused with someone who isn't me. I don't mess up."
He stepped between Matthew and the elevator that was coming up, a smile on his face.
"Come on, Penton Industries. You're starting to bore me. After I took precious time out of my day to drag myself all the way here, you'd better start showing me a good time!"
He chuckled and waited anxiously for the elevator doors to open.

 

Kitty looked back at the lady following her. "I-It's true! I got lost!" She stopped and turned around and gave the lady a pout. "I was just... Taking a tour is all..." Kitty glanced around, no one was really in sight. It was just her and this strange woman. She was nervous, Nervous being alone with this lady. Kitty's bad feeling grew worse.

 

Maisie narrowed her eyes. "Aye aye. Like I said, whatever you say." She was still gonna' follow her, no matter what. "Well. I want a tour. You're my tour guide now." She closed her eyes, nodding her head, as if this was something 100% certain to happen. To be honest, she would follow anyway. She tightened her neckerchief. Placing her hands behind her head.

 

A flash of memories went through Eldrichs head, they were shattered, vague, and incomplete but something he said triggered his past. Where he was, was his house, before he was to go out and slay 30 dragons. It was the last task he remembered.

Walking through the bedroom door his wife followed, and his son sat down on the table playing with a wooden toy of a knight. "Daddy! Daddy!" He shouted in excitement but slight disappointment. For his father had to leave again. They were settled in a shabby shack. They didn't have much money, but they lived comfortably. His family and him was happy.

"Daddy! I'm gonna miss you, I know you can slay 30 dragons in one knight, you're the greatest warrior to ever live!" Eldrichs visor was still off, his gear was all on. Placing his hand on his boys shoulder and leaning into a hug, he pulled away and held his boy, Gabriel. "I will bring you a tooth for each dragon, Gabriel, I swear it. You will be able to tell all of your friends about the legendary Eldrich the dragon slayer. I promise you I will return home after my job is done."

Eldrich pulled away fully and stood up. His son followed in standing up. Turning around he walked towards his wife. "I love you, dear." He gave her a kiss and put down his visor, holding his greatsword over his shoulder. It was going to be a long night for him and he was already prepared.

Finally he came back to Bravado standing in front of him. He was throwing off an aura of confusion and sorrow. His tone from threatening turned into an apologetic tone, and one of sadness.

"W-where am I? Bravado, why am I here?" He released his grip from the hilt and immediately dropped to one knee, hoping bravado could forgive him. "Forgive me, Bravado. I did not mean to scare the people here. Let them know I am not a threat. Also, you may call me Eldrich, friend."

He lifted himself up after Bravado replied to him and turned towards Gabe and kneeled again. "Gabe, I would be honored if I could be your knight. I will protect you from any threat, if you'd allow me too." He remained kneeling until he got a response from Gabe.

 

Gabriel looked surprised at first, but once he fully realized what the knight said his expression could only be described as if a little boy with the biggest sweet tooth in the world was just told that he could have all the chocolate in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. With a smile that was practically glowing, he answered back enthusiastically.
"You wanna be MY knight?! Seriously? You really mean it?!"

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Back in the park, Gabriel's parents were starting to worry. His mother spoke up first.
"It's been a little while...do you think we should check up on him?"
His father thought it over for a moment.
"Yes, I think we should. I want to make sure he didn't get lost."
They both nodded and got up from the bench they were sitting on. They made their way out to the park entrance where a rather...interesting sight awaited them.

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Gabriel's mother gasped and covered her mouth, a look of shock and horror on her face as she saw a large man in a full suit of blood-soaked armor standing very close to Gabriel. Gabriel's father took the initiative and ran up to them, giving the armored man and the other man who was with them nasty glares, even though he was secretly scared out of his mind at the sight of them.
"Who...who are you and what do you want with my son?!"
He looked at Gabriel, visibly shaking but trying to stay strong for his sake.
"Gabriel, you're gonna be okay. Dad's gonna take care of this, alright?"

Gabriel gave his dad a confused look as he tilted his head slightly.
"What are you talking about, dad?"
He happily pointed to Eldrich, as if he was showing him off.
"It's okay, this is Eldrich the Dragon Slayer! He's a knight from medieval times and he just told me he's gonna be MY knight from now on! Isn't that the coolest?!?!"
He then pointed to Bravado.
"And that's Bravado, I think he's Mr. Eldrich's friend or something."
He turned back to his dad and nodded, feeling so sure that the misunderstanding was cleared up.
"See? There's nothing to worry about at all. Especially not since Mr. Eldrich is here!"

Gabriel's dad glared at Eldrich more intensely than before.
"Who are you really? What do you want? If it's money, I'm sure we can work something out. Just...please don't hurt him."
He tried his hardest to stay calm, even though he was terrified deep down.

 

"You want a tour? I thought you worked here. I don't even know my way around here." Kitty sighed and kept walking, hoping to magically bump into Logan and Matthew. She didn't want to admit it, but she actually was lost. Somehow she got herself turned around and forgot which way she came from. "So... This place is pretty big right? Haha. Pretty easy to get lost in." She glanced back at the woman following her. "Uh... My name is Kitty, by the way, Kitty Miles." She didn't care that she just gave this unknown lady her real name. She was just trying to break the silence while they were lost together in this maze of a building.

 

Maisie was slightly worried that she thought someone wearing a witch hat worked here. "Alright, Kitty." She laughed. What a silly name. Oh ho ho! "Maisie is my name, lass." She continued to follow her nonchalantly, not really caring much about causing mischief in the building. Looks like a group had come to beat her to it. It was much easy to hide yourself than four other people. "Yeah, no joke. I was just looking for a toilet." Well, it wasn't a lie. Maybe she could get some information out of her, though. Some odd looking people with a strange cat girl didn't walk into such a building for no reason.

 

"I assume, you are Gabriels father. Please sir, allow me the honour of protecting your son. He is telling the truth, I don't remember much of myself. Where I've been, what I've done, or where I am to go... I was once a father, I had a young boy, just like your's I haven't seen him in a while, and I wonder how he has grown, If he became a knight, if he surpassed his dear old dad."

Eldrich understood his appearance wasn't quite the most welcoming at the moment in time, especially since his armor was not only bloodsoaked it also was tarnished. But that would only further show he has been through hell before and emerged victorious. While he was kneeling he kept his head down.

"I promise you sir, Your son will have no harm done upon him so long as I am with him. I will protect him with my life, even if it means giving mine."

Eldrich was surprisingly serious, The child shared the same name as his and a few facial features were similar, Which is why he wished to serve this boy, it was a feeling of acceptance and adoration that he quite enjoyed as if a knight was truly the greatest thing in the world to someone other than another knight.

 

Bravado turned to the concerned parents.
"Remain calm," he instructed in a soothing tone. "I can assure you, he and I mean your child no harm. Why, young Gabriel's just interested in the ins and outs of knighthood."
He bowed politely. "My name is Bravado. I'm the leader of the Exceptioneers, and I can personally guarantee your son has not been in danger for the last ten minutes. Now, Eldrich, I am certain that you can be the boy's knight without too much trouble, but I'm going to need to ask you a few questions first."

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His eyes opened.


“By his lordship!”


He sat up, rubbing his neck.
“What accursed devilry be this? I had thought myself slain!”

“You were, oh brave Grave Knight.”

He bristled, his armour clanking as he rose to dress down his accuser. “Thou shalt not dishonour me further, whoever ye be! I refuse to be bound by such a dark and occult title!”


“Bound you are, though by that title, never.”

He looked down at himself and cursed. “To be stranded forever in whatever hellish landscape this is, clad in the armour of a traitor to the crown! Oh, what black art I was cursed with!”

There was a long sigh. “We have a LOT of work to do, you and I.”

“Who art thou!?” he barked, swinging the blade he hated round to face his attacker. A woman in a red fur coat was watching him, long black hair bouncing round her shoulders. Her eyes had white irises, and she had knife blades for high heels. “What succubus be ye? My knightly honour will remain intact, even in death!”

“At what point,” she said with the slightest hint of exasperation, “are you going to figure out you're not dead and are in fact alive?”


He paused. “Thou art... not a seductress from hell?”


She rolled her eyes. “I take that as a compliment.”

To be continued...

 

As he was tensely waiting for the elevator, Logan could've sworn that he heard something coming from behind him. There were two voices, one of them sounded vaguely like Kitty's voice though it was too far to tell for certain. Logan briefly turned his head to the side and tried to call out to them.
"Hey Fluffy, is that you creepin' around? Did you take care of the security stuff or what?"
He looked back towards the elevator, unsure of whether she even heard him or not.

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Gabriel's father was clearly not amused at what he thought was some kind of sick joke. He turned to Bravado with a sneer.
"You're the leader of the Exceptioneers, huh? You mean that group of superhumans that might not even exist? Sure you are."

While he was focused on Bravado, Gabriel ran up to his dad and tugged at his shirt.
"It's okay, Dad. They're good people, I can tell."

His father looked down, seeming a little surprised.
"Wait...so does that mean you--"

Gabriel nodded, a serious expression on his face.
"Yeah, I used my power. I can sense it; they both have really good auras so there's no way they can be lying. There's just no way they could have auras like that and be bad people who wanna do stuff like lie and hurt us."

Just then, Gabriel's mother walked up to the two of them and looked at his father.
"You know, dear...he does have some very powerful and wonderful abilities that we don't quite understand. And when he's said things like this before, he was always right. I think...if he says that we can trust them, we can trust them."

Gabriel's father let out a sigh. Then he looked up at Eldrich.
"I'll hear what you have to say. But first..."
He looked over to Bravado.
"...I want to hear these questions, too."

 

Eldrich stood up, from his once kneeling position and removed his helmet, His face was surprisingly not corpse like at all, but you could tell he was sleeping for quite some time as he looked goegeous! Except for the hair. His hair was a mess. Turning over to Bravado he bowed.

"Ask any question you so desire, I shall answer the best I can. My mind is still quite groggy, for I am uncertain of even the year it may be. I was hoping I could get some answers myself... maybe you could tell me of your great feats over some mead, Bravado."

 

There was the sound of trees falling over, and suddenly a tyrannosaurus with gigantic gorilla arms emerged from seemingly nowhere behind them, accompanied by a hovering creature that vaguely resembled a bipedal hippopotamus with bright golden fur and glowing red eyes, wielding an enormous broadsword that glowed with ancient runes down the side.

“I say,” the tyrannosaurus said, “I don't think the rank of leader was ever officially bestowed upon you, Bravado. I think... team spirit, would be more accurate. Don't you think, Theraploferous?”
“I can say nothing other,” the hippo-like creature replied, “other than that I heard the warrior mention mead. I like him already.”

Bravado facepalmed. “Subtlety is not something you guys really understand well, do you?”
Both of them looked down at him as though he'd just said the moon was made of cheese, and he sighed. “Very well...” He turned back to the parents and Eldrich.
“This is Kaur, and Theraploferous. Despite their appearance I can promise you they also mean no harm.”


He sat down on the park bench, and took out a pad and pencil. “So, Eldrich... what year do you remember it being the last time you checked?”

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They were in a dark, musty tomb of sorts, and the knight had just become aware he had just climbed out of his own burial mound.
“By my troth... thou art a necromancer!” he proclaimed. The woman sighed.
“Not exactly, but the most accurate thing you've said so far.”
He raised his sword. “I shall not be made to do villainy, wench!” A shard of ice suddenly leapt from the woman's hand and struck him in the chest with such force that he toppled back into his own grave.
“Arrgh!” There was much clanking.


“That was for the wench comment. Now we have to get going.”

Against his will his legs forced him back upright and he started following her out.
“No! I will not be subdued!” he raged, fighting back hard against her control. “I will regain my honour!”


“Your honour is not damaged,” she soothed. “Your honour shall be heightened by what we shall do, on that I promise.”
He looked sideways at her. “And how do I know I can trust you?”

She pushed the door open and light flooded the dead room. “You took the deal, remember?”

To be continued... again...

 

"Logan!" Kitty quickly came around the corner and ran up to Logan. "Phew... I ended up getting lost due to uh... bumping into someone." Kitty glanced at Maisie. "I went to turn off the alarm but they were already off! Then Maisie, the woman behind me, ran into me in the security room and pulled on my tail..." Kitty slowly pet her tail. "It's still kinda sore...." She sighed. "Don't worry, I don't think she works for these people."

 

Maisie pouted at such a claim. Work here? She wasn't in a fancy business suit. "Na?..." She looked over at the two. The hell where they doing here? She was just as confused as this Kitty girl was. She was just gonna' say nothing. Didn't matter, really. She'd get roped into all of this one way or another anyhow. She just waved at the guy in the elevator.

 

Logan let out a sigh.
"A simple yes or no would've been fine, Fluffy."
He looked over to Kitty's new "friend."
"I would make a joke about cats and things getting dragged in, but it almost seems too easy."
He turned his gaze upwards slightly to the lady's hat.
"Nice hat. So, what's your story, Broomstick? I'd like to say that we're kinda busy right now but that doesn't seem to be the case..."
He looked back to the elevator with an angry glare.
"...Since we seem to be waiting for the slowest elevator ever crafted by human hands."
He spoke in a low, frustrated growl as he slowly lost his patience at the mysteriously, almost impossibly slow elevator.