Spirit Hunter

I hate it; the smell, the sounds, even the people. I hate my snooty, “well to do” college. I hadn’t typed anything into the computer keys for almost 30 minutes now. It was starting to get late.This report socioeconomics class was taking forever ‘How does your socioeconomic status affect your life?’ some of the sub questions are ‘how does it affect how you see others?’ ‘how does it affect how others see you?’ I hate business school. The only reason I’m still attending is because my parents told me to go. Well, I heard they told me to go anyway. In reality: my parents secondary secretary told the head butler, and he told the head maid who then told the normal maid who finally told me. In reality a monkey on a typewriter could have been the real one telling me to go, all along. I rarely ever speak to my parents directly, and it’s just as well to me.

I haven’t touched the keyboard for probably half an hour now. All my mind is focused on is how much this all disgusts me; this socioeconomics report, the people I’m writing it for, and the idea that I’m in this situation, yet I can’t understand exactly why or how I got here. I gloss over some of the subquestions again, but my thoughts are wandering back to the futility of attending business school. There’s definitely something wrong with a currently enrolled student having an existential crisis about being in school, especially a school that my family can afford.


I stood up. The desk chair rolled out from under my butt as I attempted to stretch out a cramp. My bare feet move over toward the window. My room is as huge as it is empty. When I walk away from my desk lamp it’s almost completely dark. My open window seems like a beacon of heavenly light in the distance. It’s been 3 years since I moved to this apartment building as it’s only resident. The other rooms are either empty or contain my parents staff. Other people were probably living here at some point but my parents must have gotten them all to leave. Hopefully it was willingly, though you never know. Over the years I’ve stumbled across some of the less tasteful parts of my parents massive corporation. ‘You gotta break a few eggs to get an omelette’ as they say. Whoever ‘they’ are. I guessing the person who came up with that phrase was a massive jerk.

When I look outside the widows I see the guards that are partly there to keep other people out, partly there to keep me in. One of them looks up at my window and sees me. I’ve seen this guard before. He’s relatively new. He stares at me with a blank expression. I wave at him. He doesn’t wave back. I eventually drop my hand as I continue to stare awkwardly at him till he walks away. I feel like I’ve won some how. A slight smirk dances across my usually glib facial expression.


Satisfied with a job well done I walk over to my over sized bed. I jump then throw myself down on bed in very overly dramatic manner. The report would just have to wait until tomorrow. That’s just one more thing in a long list of things I was now procrastinating on. I didn’t use to be like this. I used to be a good boy who did what he was told with no back talk. The nannies like being with me. Always saying things like “You’re just like your daddy Osmond.” “You’re so cute Osmond”. Not anymore. The staff now thought I was barely tolerable let alone endearing. It was mostly because I had become so lazy. I just couldn’t be motivated to do anything anymore beyond the bare minimum. Now I mostly just sit in my room and read or occasionally watch television. I just can’t get motivated to do anything any more. Because I know that everything I do is being monitored and controlled by my parents. It’s my cross to bare as a air to the Clayborne Corporation. My parents powerful company that does business in everything from baby cradles to coffins. My parents even picked out a girl I’m going to marry when I graduate business school. When I graduate business school. There’s no situation where I don’t graduate from business school.

As my eyes start to get heavy. I feel a presence around me. They start out as little blurs of light in the distance. Then they begin to grow into hug bug like creatures with colorful luminous wings. They were each about the size of small birds. I sat up in bed as they came closer to me. Anyone else would have been crapping themselves at the sight of them, but I knew them. I’ve known them since I was very young. They are my imaginary friends. I called them Birds of Paradise. There were 4 of them. It was nearly impossible to tell them apart by looks because they were constantly changing color and shape like lava lamps with wings. The only way I could tell them apart was from there voices. There was April with the highest squeakiest voice, there was May with a sober almost sad sounding voice, there was June with an overly excited spokeswoman type voice,and finally there was July who sounded just like my mother a very confident and authoritative voice. As I grew up I realized that other people didn’t see them. I don’t think I’m crazy, but I haven’t told anyone about my friends just to be on the safe side. I already have very little freedom as it is, just imagine if I was locked in a mental institution. July spoke to me first.

“You seem so sad Osmond.” She spun around in the air as she put way too much emphasis on the word sad.

“Nah, I’m okay.” That’s how I always responded to those sorts of remarks. In a way it was true. I’m okay. I think most people are okay.

April decides to chirp in at that moment. “You haven’t been eating well lately; you’ll get sick soon if you don’t.

“I haven’t been hungry lately.” This was also true my appetite went down with my work ethic.

“You won’t last for long. You need to get healthier or things will only get worse for you.” May said.

I rolled over. Then I dug my head into the pillow.

“Even my own thoughts are telling me what to do now?” I said my voice muffled into the pillow.

“Isn’t that kind of how it works?” April said while laughing. I could feel her moving close to my head.

“I don’t know how anything works, I’m an idiot.” I say with my face still in the pillow.

“Osmond you need to leave this place.” July suddenly sounded very serious.

That took me of guard. I look up from my pillow.

“What do you mean leave this place?”

“Just what I said, you need to go, don’t take anything with you never know what might be bugged.”

I was sitting up completely now.

“Where would I go? What would I do? Starve to death?” I sounded exasperated but July sounded completely calm.

“I know you. You won’t starve. You’re stronger than you think and the world isn’t as dangerous as you think.”

“I think you’re overestimating me; just a bit.”

“You have to believe in yourself Osmond.” April said while doing another spin.

I don’t respond to her I just flop down on my bed. I close my eyes. I can still feel them looking at me.

“Osmond? Are you sleeping?” April says quietly.

“You need to leave this place.” They all said in unison. I open my eyes to look at them but they were gone.