Let's talk about fear.

Didn't want to post this here just because I didn't want to, but I can't think of any other place that this would fit. Anyway my article.


A popular topic among people lately is the topic of fear. You literally can't go anywhere on the internet now without someone shouting about how blank person or thing is something phobic. Just go on Twitter or Tumblr and you'll see dozens of people shouting that "such and such is homophobic" and other such words with phobic at the end.

I was reading a few of these tweets (which I honestly do not know why I was) and I started thinking something. The more and more of these tweets and blog posts I read, the more the thought I had started to come to be. That thought being that people are using the word phobia wrong, in particular, homophobia.

For those of you who don't know, homophobia is "the fear of homosexuality", which is really kind of weird but whatever, people are afraid of weirder thinks, Hell, I'm afraid of semi trucks and freak out a bit if one is driving right beside me, but that's beside the point. The point I'm trying to make here is not to poke fun about fears, but to talk about them.

When people call someone homophobic, it's usually towards someone who shows open signs of resentment and hatred towards someone who is gay. People who openly call someone such words as faggot or queer (no I'm not going to censor myself, I'm trying to make a point here) to someones face who is gay. So calling someone who does that "homophobic" is, by definition, wrong.

What is the definition of fear? My dictionary tells me that it's "A feeling of anxiety or agitation caused by the presence or nearness of danger, evil, pain, etc." Most people are afraid of spiders. Why? It's because some spiders are dangerous. Some people are afraid of demons or the supernatural. Why? It's because they can't see it, or they fear that said being could be evil. Some people are afraid of needles. Why? It's because they fear that brief moment of pain that a needle brings.

When you go up to someone in real life, or even on the internet to an extent, that takes something that you can't have if you are afraid. It's takes courage. Why? It's because you are speaking what you think, be it right or wrong, to someone's face. You cannot be afraid of something and stand up to something at the same time. What they are displaying is something I mentioned a few paragraphs ago. That being hatred.

The definition of hate is "the strong dislike or ill will for, to loathe or despise." Yes, you can have hatred for something that you fear. I'm not saying that that's not possible, but, and here is the thing, to have open hatred towards a person takes courage, whether you want to admit it or not, and as I stated, you cannot not have fear if you have courage. Why? Because the two contradict one another.

The definition of courage is "the attitude of facing and dealing with anything recognized as dangerous, difficult or painful, instead of withdrawing from it." Basically it means "to lack fear." How can you lack something and yet, be completely afraid of it? How can you have courage to say "I hate you" to someones face and yet be afraid of them? You can't. They are not afraid of gay people, they are, as I said in the beginning, afraid of homosexuality, and people confuse that.

So then can't it just be that they are afraid of the person? No. Not unless the person has gotten harmed by someone who is gay and they project their fear of that person onto other gay people, and even then, unless they are getting courage from a group of people or someone else, they fear them by definition. Because at some point in this persons life that someone who was gay showed then harm (or danger) they see gay people as dangerous. Most of these people do it towards people they don't know, or hell, people that they do know and not out of fear, but hate. So what is homophobia then?

There was a thing I read that described it as this, and I believe it. Homophobia isn't the irrational fear of gay people, it's the fear that they might be gay. Ask someone who is "homophobic" why they are and they'll most likely tell you that they are afraid of being "converted." Meaning, that they are afraid of being gay, not afraid of gay people, of afraid that they, themself, are gay.

I think I'll end it there. I'm hoping that people don't hang me for this topic, because it's the internet and that's what people do. Remember, this is just my opinion. I just hope that this article I wrote helps clear some things up for people.

 

@Heizengard
We will hang you for that!

Joking aside, I only get as homophobic as far as getting excessive interest in guys (I don not see that happening anytime soon, though). I would find it disappointing if a guy like me got asked out by another guy, due to my grand streak on going out with ladies (grand streak so far: 0). Anyway, like you said about calling people homophobic, there is nothing wrong in particular about having a fear, hence why should it be used like an insult? Also, I get what you mean by being afraid of semis. I posted a video in the Asylum showing a car getting "played" with by 3-4 semis on the interstate. I hate getting stuck next to one on the highway, and feeling the wind from an oncoming semi.

As for a general statement, I have a personal fear of driving. It does not help knowing that an error could kill someone, or get you in a wreck the requires you to deal with insurance, paperwork and more people. That would lead to another fear of mine, having to deal with official paperwork that come with fancy questions and possibly even court, which will, in turn, make you have to deal with more people. When I was about 6 or 7, my dad had me try driving his truck. Maybe that is what scares me about having to do driving. Unfortunately, since I do not live in a large city or in a country that does not require driving, I must drive to accomplish things, as is what seems to be the American way.

 

I have a fear of bugs, especially cockroaches. It's not getting better. Reminds me of that guy who started a fire in a gas station trying to light a spider with a cig lighter. I forgot, was that national news or another crazy guy in Florida? This state is nuts.

Anyway...

I think your right when you say people are misusing the term. I'll go one step further and opine that the people who do so are trying to label others in a way to discredit their views. Not saying that's the norm but it seems that way alot of the times. It makes it difficult to express differing views when your paronoid you'll get labeled as phobic. It's taking a duel meaning as fear and hatred. I have no idea how the hatred snuck in there. It's not like I hate roaches, they got their place right? (Hopefully completly away from my sight!)

 

Second one was alright. 6/10

 

I had a friend in the UK, male, ask me out one time. That was an awkward moment, confusing for sure considering I'm not really sure what piqued his interest in me. I did remain friends with him, though we don't really talk much since I stopped using MSN Messenger (Live Messenger, and ultimately Skype) for quite some time (somewhere around 2007 or 2008 I think). From what I could tell when I did manage to log in, he doesn't get online much either. College and all that, plus the time difference. In fact, a lot of the friends I have in the UK, hardly get on. Adulthood sucks so much. lol

Personally, I have a fear of swimming. I've yet to figure out why. I have a strong dislike of driving, and I'm always feeling anxious when driving (enough so that sometimes my neck starts hurts because I feel so tense), plus there are more idiots on the road who constantly think they own it and everyone else is supposed to give them room when they push themselves into your lane without any space, and without signalling. So I've developed road rage, not bad enough to take action, but enough to openly call them every name in the book and flip them off, or openly say that I'd like to shoot my paintball gun at their vehicle (when riding as a passenger). People piss me off way too easily when it comes to driving.

 

*facepalm

Growing up, I was told to listen to grown ups and let them go first, be polite, that sort of thing. And that is what I did. But when it came to driving, and a lot of adults are on the road, it did not help that I had the same polite mindset. For a change, I now had to take action and be bold, which is not something I did in the past.
Anyway, people say the cannot listen to music while driving, since they must concentrate. I am the opposite. I listen to something like rock, metal, techno, whatever is not annoying and will blot out the nervousness I have. There are times I do need silence, like those 4 way stops and cars are piling up in all directions.

 

=P

I'm not actually in a good place to make long-form posts right now. I'll give an actual opinion at some point, though.

 

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

 

Interesting topic. I brought up something similar when kay and I were chilling in the queer lounge last semester. It was "Going on the basis of its name, shouldn't homophobia be 'fear of things that are the same'?"
Also strange how despite having 'phobia' in it, the word homophobic is used to describe hate.

Anyaway, now to some nitpicking.

Bzzzz bzzzz!
I have a needle phobia, and what I fear of it is the feeling of something foreign being in somewhere that nothing is supposed to be.

Bzzzz bzzzz!
It should really be, "to act despite fear."

 

You have a needle phobia too? I hate needles and for the same reason you describe. Not to mention when I went to basic military training, I dreaded that blood work. I always had this fear that they would rip my vein and I'd bleed to death. Still can't stand having my blood drawn. For this same reason, I refuse to donate blood or even plasma. I also get a bit queasy when they do draw blood and even passed out a few of those times.

 

Ugh, yeah. It's funny, 'cause I'm always so obsessed with gore in movies and stuff (and complaining when they "leave out the good bits"), but when it comes to seeing my own blood, or seeing needles around me or on screen, I can't deal. Same goes for when people on screen have tubes in them and decide to rip them out...
Since I'm blood type O, I'd love to donate blood and be able to help out like half the people out there. But, not gonna happen with this shitty phobia in the way. Symptoms = light-headedness, nausea followed by possible vomiting, feeling like I'm going to pass out (haven't had that last one happen yet).

 

*sigh
There is nothing shameful in fearing needles. Fear tends to get even the best of us.
And I do not even need to mention the wife...

 

Yeah I looked it up again, but forgot to change it. I was using the only dictionary in my house which is from the 80's since I didn't have internet at the time of your reply. Would have replied sooner if I had more time.

 

You know that saying "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." I'd be afraid of Chichi too, knowing she'd be able to kick my ass.

 

chichi is a monster who can kill if she feel like it she all most killed Goku lot of time